The Happiness Project

Problem With Procrastination? Try This: Do Nothing.

Just about anyone who has ever put off a troublesome task is familiar with one of my Secrets of Adulthood: Working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination.

When there’s some chore you just don’t want to tackle, every other chore seems alluring. As a friend told me, “My apartment is never cleaner than when I have a writing assignment due.”

In Roy Baumeister and John Tierney’s fascinating book, Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, they suggest the “Nothing Alternative” to this problem. That is, if you want to get yourself to do something, make the alternative to that task to do nothing.

This rule was inspired by the habits of writer Raymond Chandler. Chandler set aside at least four hours each day for writing; he didn’t force himself to write, but he didn’t let himself do anything else. He wouldn’t let himself read, write letters, write checks—nothing. He summed up: “Two very simple rules, a. you don’t have to write. b. you can’t do anything else. The rest comes of itself.”

When I read this, I realized that I’d been following this rule without giving it a name. When I want to do the difficult work of original writing, I often work outside my apartment, in a library a few blocks away. This gets me away from the temptations of the internet, and it also forces me to accept the “nothing alternative.” I say to myself, “I’ll stay here for two hours,” and then I’m stuck. If I’m not writing, I’m just sitting there. Sure, sometimes I jump up and go look for a book in the stacks, but that doesn’t take long. I end up writing just to pass the time. At home, by contrast, there’s no end to the useful tasks that I can find to occupy myself.

So if you often find yourself procrastinating by working, try making yourself do nothing.

How about you? Do you procrastinate by working—by cleaning, organizing, answering emails, cruising the internet doing “research,” making plans, or the like? Has the "do nothing" alternative worked for you?

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

* My friend Laura Vanderkam told me about the blog Wandering Scientist, and I've really enjoyed reading it.

* Want a happiness quotation in your email inbox every morning? Sign up for the Moment of Happiness. Subscribe here or email me at gretchenrubin1@gretchenrubin.com.

11 Brilliant Writing Commandments From Henry Miller.

Cruising around Pinterest (my new toy), I came across this list of Henry Miller's eleven work commandments, posted by Sadie Skeels. I'm astounded by how absolutely apt these commandments are for my own writing practices.

For instance, #10. I struggle with this problem all the time. And #2. I remember a conversation I had with my agent when I was writing Forty Ways to Look at Winston Churchill. I was so enthralled with the material that I couldn't stop researching, and finally she said to me sternly, "No more research." #5 is terrific advice; when I can't seem to write, I can review my notes, edit, cut...and pretty soon I've started writing again. I think about #11 in a different way; I struggle to make sure that writing doesn't crowd out other things that are also important to me.

Henry Miller's Commandments, from Henry Miller on Writing:

1. Work on one thing at a time until finished.
2. Start no more new books, add no more new material to “Black Spring.”
3. Don’t be nervous. Work calmly, joyously, recklessly on whatever is in hand.
4. Work according to Program and not according to mood. Stop at the appointed time!
5. When you can’t create you can work.
6. Cement a little every day, rather than add new fertilizers.
7. Keep human! See people, go places, drink if you feel like it.
8. Don’t be a draught-horse! Work with pleasure only.
9. Discard the Program when you feel like it–but go back to it the next day. Concentrate. Narrow down. Exclude.
10. Forget the books you want to write. Think only of the book you are writing.
11. Write first and always. Painting, music, friends, cinema, all these come afterwards.

These rules seem helpful to non-writers as well; in almost everything we do, it helps to stay focused, refreshed, and perseverant.

What work commandments would you add? And what exactly do you think that Miller meant by #6?

* As I mentioned, I'm really enjoying Pinterest—"an online pinboard where you can organize and share the things you love." If you'd like me to send you an invitation, drop me a request at gretchenrubin1@gretchenrubin.com.

* Looking for an idea for a Valentine's Day gift? Give the gift of happiness! Well, you can't do that, but you can consider giving The Happiness Project (can't resist mentioning: #1 New York Times bestseller).
Order your copy.
Read sample chapters.

Having Trouble Getting Yourself To Write? 9 Tips.

The most challenging aspect of being a writer? Writing. When I find myself struggling to be productive or creative, I remind myself of these nine tips.

1. Write every day. Staying inside a project keeps me engaged, keeps my mind working, and keeps ideas flowing. Also, I find, perhaps surprisingly, it’s easier to do something every day than to do it some days. (This may be related to the abstainer/moderator split.) "You're just grinding out material," a friend protested. "But that's when I have my best ideas," I answered.

2. Even fifteen minutes is long enough to write. For years I told myself, “If I don’t have three or four hours clear, there’s no point in starting.” Now I realize that if I'm deep in a project (see #1), even a short bit of time is long enough to get something done.

3. Remember that good ideas often come during the revision stage. I've found, for myself, that I need to get a beginning, middle, and an end in place, and then the more creative and complex ideas begin to form. So I try not to be discouraged by first drafts.

4. Don’t binge-write. Pulling all-nighters, wearing pajamas for days, abandoning all other priorities to finish a project—these habits lead to burn-out. Also, if you do all your writing at the last minute, you don't get the benefit of #3.

5. Keep a commonplace book, inspiration board, scrapbook, or catch-all box to keep track of ideas and images. Not only do such collections help you remember thoughts, they create juxtapositions that stimulate creativity. My catch-all happiness document for happiness is 500 pages long, single-spaced. When I need a mental jolt, I just skip around and read random sections. It always helps.

6. Consider physical comfort. Do you have a decent desk and chair? Are you hungry? Too hot or too cold? (I now wear fingertipless gloves at my desk, because my hands are always so cold; they make me so happy.) Do you jam your shoulders up to your ears as you write? Is the light too dim or too bright? Make a salute—if you feel relief when your hand is shading your eyes, your desk is too brightly lit. Being physically uncomfortable tires you out and makes work seem harder.

7. Down with boredom. When my college roommate was writing her Ph.D. thesis, she kept a sticky note on her computer that read, "Down with boredom." She'd vowed to construct her thesis in a way that eliminated everything she found boring. When I'm working on a book, I repeat that mantra. If something's boring to me, I probably can't write about it in an interesting way. I need to find a way to make that subject interesting (Secret of Adulthood: If you can't get out of it, get into it), or find a way to leave it out altogether.

8. Stuck? Go for a walk and read a good book. Virginia Woolf noted in her diary: “The way to rock oneself back into writing is this. First gentle exercise in the air. Second the reading of good literature. It is a mistake to think that literature can be produced from the raw.”

9. At least in my experience, the most important tip for getting writing done? Have something to say! This sounds obvious, but it’s a lot easier to write when you’re trying to tell a story, explain an idea, convey an impression, give a review, or whatever. If you're having trouble writing, forget about the writing and focus on what you want to communicate. For example, I remember flailing desperately as I tried to write my college and law-school application essays. It was horrible—until in both cases I realized I had something I really wanted to say. Then the writing came easily, and those two essays are among my favorites of things I’ve ever written.

* Now for some blatant self-promotion: The Happiness Project has been on the New York Times bestseller list for 46 weeks, which is tremendously thrilling of course. Getting to week 46 has made me think about hitting the one year mark. That would be extraordinarily thrilling. If you're inclined to buy the book, or read it in your book group, or give it as a gift, I would so appreciate it if you'd do that sometime before March 1. Okay, end of commercial!

"How Can I Stop Being Overwhelmed by Big Projects?"

2012 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2012 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2012 a happier year -- and even if you haven’t officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! Each week, I post a video about some Pigeon of Discontent raised by a reader. Because, as much as we try to find the Bluebird of Happiness, we're also plagued by the Pigeons of Discontent.

This week's Pigeon of Discontent, suggested by a reader, is: "How can I keep myself from being overwhelmed by big projects?"

Being overwhelmed by big projects.

If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…
Frustrated? Stuck? Put yourself in creativity boot camp.
Get rid of things that don't work.
Why I decided to put together a photo album that wasn't as good as it could have been.

I hope you enjoy the new format. It's still evolving, so bear with me while it's taking shape.

You can post your own Pigeon of Discontent at any time; also, from time to time, I'll make a special call for suggestions.

If you're new, jump in right now, sign up here. Studies suggest that by taking action, like signing up for this challenge, will help you keep your resolutions. For the 2012 Challenge, each week I'll post a video for you to consider, and you can check out the archives of videos here.

* Please subscribe to my YouTube Channel. To get the weekly video by email, right in your email in-box, you can:
-- On the GretchenRubin channel page, after you subscribe, click "Edit Subscription" and check the box, “Email me for new uploads.” Or...
-- Go to your main drop-down box, click “Subscriptions,” find the GretchenRubin channel, click “Edit Subscriptions,” and check “Email me for new uploads” there.

To get the audio podcast of the video:
-- Log in to iTunes
-- Go to “Podcasts”
-- Search for “The Happiness Project.” Free, of course.

Declare Something "Finished."

As a writer, I've learned that one of the most important things I do is to declare a project "finished." This resolution sounds easy, but I find it very, very difficult to do.

In particular, it's hard to say "Finished!" when I'm writing a book, because I love to edit. I tinker, I cut (oh, how I love to cut), I re-organize. I add more facts, more studies, more examples. I think of better choices of verbs. I put a word in, I take it out, I put it back, I take it out again. My work is very, very heavily edited. But at a certain point, I have to be finished.

In fact, I've realized there are actually several mini-finishes before the big finish.

First is "beginning, middle, end." That's when I finish the rough structure of the book. That's big.

Next is "no gaps." That's when I've filled in all the blanks, all the notes to myself to "Fix this." At this point, the book looks finished (but in fact, it will continue to change dramatically). Also, at this point, the book's boundaries are set. I don't add any more major new concepts or sections. This is always a hard step for me. When I should have been at this point when writing Forty Ways to Look at Winston Churchill, I enthusiastically told my agent about some new Churchill fact I'd uncovered. "Gretchen," she said sternly, "no more research." This step is crucial, because for people like me, the siren call of research is practically irresistible. But research can be never finished; I have to accept that my books will always be incomplete.

Next is "just about finished." Now the book is just about in its final form, but I'm still tinkering with language.

Last is the terrifying moment of "finishing" that I experienced two days ago: I sent my editor my edits on the copy-edited version of the manuscript of Happier at Home. This is difficult line to cross, because after this point, unless I find an actual typo or something like that, I can't edit any more.

It's funny; I always think it will be a relief to be "finished," but instead, each time, I get the blues. To cheer myself up, I decided I'd get rid of the pile of rough drafts that I've been saving. (I never look at them, but for some reason, I save them.) That felt good.

When I'm struggling to declare something finished, I remind myself of something my father told me: "There's the perfect legal brief, and then there's the brief that's handed in to the court in a timely way—and is therefore effective."

I remind myself of my Secret of Adulthood (cribbed from Voltaire), Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. If I never finish a book, I can never publish it, and I can never start a new book. At some point, I have to let go.

Do you ever have trouble declaring something "finished" so that you can hand it in, close the file, submit it, or whatever you might need to do?

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

* A reader asked me to give the information again about Wordle, "a toy for generating 'word clouds' from text you provide." I love this site!

* Are you involved in a school auction fundraiser, a benefit for a non-profit organization, or a similar event? If you'd like me to donate a signed copy of The Happiness Project, just email me at gretchenrubin1@gretchenrubin.com. I'm happy to do it.

8 Writing Tips from Flannery O'Connor.

November is National Novel Writing Month. I've never participated in the official month, but I did follow the excellent system proposed by Chris Baty in his book No Plot? No Problem! to write a novel in a month. I'm a big believer in creativity boot camp as a way to spur ideas and to get things done, and it turns out it is possible, and quite exhilarating, to write a novel in a month.

So, in honor of NaNoWriMo, I'm posting these eight writing tips from one of my favorite writers, Flannery O'Connor. Her work isn't for everyone, but I love it. In fact, I love it so much I can hardly bear to read it -- does that ever happen to you?

O'Connor's collected letters have been published in The Habit of Being. These letters are fascinating, and among other thing, include some interesting advice and observations about writing. O’Connor was a very idiosyncratic person, and this advice is idiosyncratic, which makes it more interesting than a lot of writing tips that I see collected.

1. “I’m a full-time believer in writing habits…You may be able to do without them if you have genius but most of us only have talent and this is simply something that has to be assisted all the time by physical and mental habits or it dries up and blows away…Of course you have to make your habits in this conform to what you can do. I write only about two hours every day because that’s all the energy I have, but I don’t let anything interfere with those two hours, at the same time and the same place.” In my own experience, I think this is one of the most important habits for a writer to cultivate. Writing regularly both spurs creativity and speeds productivity.

2. “Try arranging [your novel] backwards and see what you see. I thought this stunt up from my art classes, where we always turn the picture upside down, on its two sides, to see what lines need to be added. A lot of excess stuff will drop off this way.”

3. “I can discover a good many possible sources myself for Wise Blood but I am often embarrassed to find that I read the sources after I had written the book.”

4. “I suppose I am not very severe criticizing other people’s manuscripts for several reasons, but first being that I don’t concern myself overly with meaning. This may be odd as I certainly believe a story has to have meaning, but the meaning in a story can’t be paraphrased and if it’s there it’s there, almost more as a physical than an intellectual fact.” O'Connor's work is permeated with meaning to such a degree that it makes my head explode.

5. “That is interesting about your reading some Shakespeare to limber up your language before you start; though I think that anything that makes you overly conscious of the language is bad for the story usually.” This is a very interesting point; I'm not sure I agree, for myself. I don't read Shakespeare to limber up my language, but I do deliberately read certain writers because of the way they use language, in the fond hope that their influence will benefit me.

6. “It might be dangerous for you to have too much time to write. I mean if you took off a year and had nothing else to do but write and weren’t used to doing it all the time then you might get discouraged.” I heartily agree with this. I sometimes speak to people who imagine that they need to quit their jobs before they can start writing. I started writing while I had a full-time job (twice).

7. “This may seem a small matter but the omniscient narrator never speaks colloquially. This is something it has taken me a long time to learn myself. Every time you do it you lower the tone.”

8. “I know that the writer does call up the general and maybe the essential through the particular, but this general and essential is still deeply embedded in mystery. It is not answerable to any of our formulas.” This is her most important point; I think about this observation often, and try to grasp its meaning.

I always enjoy reading writing tips from writers, from Mark Twain to Stephen King. Have you read any particular helpful advice about writing?

* Who knew numbers could be so beautiful? I loved the images on this post on Hello, Friend. My favorite numbers: the 1930s wooden Lotto game numbers.

* If you like this blog, you'll love the book. Take a look at The Happiness Project (can't resist mentioning: #1 New York Times bestseller).
Order your copy.
Read sample chapters.

Do Something Every Day. Counter-Intuitive, But It Works.

2011 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2011 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2011 a happier year -- and even if you haven’t officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! Last month’s theme was Possessions, and last week’s resolution was to Spend out. When I started my happiness project, I assumed I was the only person who had trouble spending out, and I've been very surprised and gratified to learn that many people struggle with this, too. Did you try that resolution? Did it boost your happiness?

This month's theme is Creativity, and this week’s resolution is to Do something every day.

Do something every day. MP3 for Audio Podcasting

If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…
Do something every day.
Secret of Adulthood: What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.
13 tips for actually getting some writing done.

How about you? Have you found that you're more full of ideas when you work more consistently? What are some other strategies you use to keep yourself productive and creative?

If you're new, here’s information on the 2011 Happiness Challenge. It’s never too late to start! You’re not behind, jump in right now, sign up here. For the Challenge, each week I'll post a video suggesting a resolution for you to consider. For more ideas for resolutions to try, check out the archives of videos here.

* If you're trying to get more writing done, check out She Writes and Write to Done.

* Sign up for the Moment of Happiness, and every weekday morning, you’ll get a happiness quotation in your email inbox (free, of course). Sign up here or email me at gretchenrubin1 at gmail dot com.

Be Gretchen. Make Strange Lists, For Fun.

One of my idiosyncrasies is my love of taking notes, copying quotations, making odd lists, gathering examples in various categories, and the like. I used to fight this impulse, because I considered it a waste of time, but now I allow myself to take notes without a purpose -- Be Gretchen.

For example, I made this list of what public-art installations, based on classics of children's literature, I would put in New York City. (I was inspired by the luggage trolley halfway through a brick wall at London's King's Cross station.)

Here's the list I made today. It's a list of my favorite two-word phrases that I have actually used in conversation:
-- scintillating scotoma
-- intangible hereditable
-- mystical pigs
-- spasmodic Hercules (from a quotation from Trollope)

Do you ever take notes without a purpose, or make lists like this? Or have any favorite two-word phrases yourself?

* I just heard last night that The Happiness Project will be #1 on the New York Times list for the third week in a row! Hooray! If that piques your interest... Order your copy.
Read sample chapters.
Watch the one-minute book video.
Listen to a sample of the audiobook.

Video: Keep a Milestone Journal. (Or a Milestone Book.)

2011 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2011 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2011 a happier year -- and even if you haven’t officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! This month’s theme is Memories. Last week’s resolution was to Keep a one-sentence journal. Did you try that resolution? Did it boost your happiness?

This week’s resolution is to Keep a milestone journal.

You'll notice that I accidentally switch back and forth in terminology -- calling it a "milestone journal" and a "milestone book." Which phrase has a better ring? Or can you think of a better term, altogether?

I'm now offering the videos in podcast form now (well, at least I'm trying.) I hope to figure out a more attractive way to include this podcast code, necessary for loading into iTunes, but bear with me for now -- also, soon I'll provide the information on where to find the podcasts on iTunes.

Keep_a_milestone_journal.MP3_for_Audio_Podcasting

If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…
A new, quick, easy way to keep a non-journal.
6 tips for using mementos to keep happy memories vivid.
8 tips for sparking your creativity.

Have you found any manageable, satisfying ways to keep happy memories vivid? Do you keep anything like a milestone journal yourself?

If you're new, here’s information on the 2011 Happiness Challenge. It’s never too late to start! You’re not behind, jump in right now, sign up here. For the Challenge, each week I'll post a video suggesting a resolution for you to consider. For more ideas for resolutions to try, check out the archives of videos here.

* I'm so happy for my friend, the brilliant, hilarious Debbie Stier. Her fabulous new site, Perfect Score Project, has just launched -- "a site dedicated to achieving the perfect SAT scores (or at least to having fun trying). If I'm lucky, I'll learn something by walking a mile in my teenage son's shoes." Thankfully, my life is for the moment SAT-free, but I visit this site just because it's so fun.

* Please subscribe to my YouTube Channel. To get the weekly video by email, right in your email in-box, you can:
-- On the GretchenRubin channel page, after you subscribe, click "Edit Subscription" and check the box, “Email me for new uploads.” Or...
-- Go to your main drop-down box, click “Subscriptions,” find the GretchenRubin channel, click “Edit Subscriptions,” and check “Email me for new uploads” there.

Zoikes. Today is the 5-Year Anniversary of My Blog.

I'm on vacation, so I'm not posting this week, but I realized with a start that I started my blog five years ago, today. I remember so well writing that first post, and the terror of hitting the button to "publish."

In The Happiness Project, I set out to test-drive the wisdom of the ages, the current scientific studies, and the lessons from popular culture about how to be happier. I kept reading research that showed that novelty and challenge make people happier, so I wanted to test that idea by doing something novel and challenging. I decided to start a blog -- a prospect that intimidated me enormously.

Everything about it seemed hard. I wasn't tech-y. I didn't read blogs. I liked to write long (80,000 words) not short (500 words). I didn't want to feel exposed. I didn't want to have to complete a piece every day. I didn't want to feel chained to my desktop (when I work on a book, I write on my laptop in a library or a coffee shop).

Plus, I didn't think that novelty and challenge would make me happy. I eat the same food every day, I don't much like to travel, I spend all my work and leisure time doing the same few activities; I thought that familiarity and mastery made me happy -- but because of the concept of the book, I had to give novelty and challenge a try.

And guess what? My blog has become a huge engine of happiness for me. Of course, happiness doesn't always make me feel happy, and my blog, to this day, makes me feel frustrated, dumb, angry, and overwhelmed. But step by step, I've figured out how to add the bells and whistles, which has given me the atmosphere of growth so important to happiness.

But even more, the chance to engage with readers has boosted my happiness immensely. The chance to exchange ideas, to hear other people's perspectives, to get pointed to great new resources, and most of all, to have a sense of connection to so many people who are interested in this subject -- I'm constantly struck by how much it adds to the richness of my day.

I fully expected to give my blog a good honest try, and then to abandon it, just as I did my gratitude journal. But my blog changed my life.

Thank you, readers. You've made me very happy.