In a few hours, I’m off to Kansas City, to help get everything organized for my sister’s wedding this weekend.

A wedding is a wonderful occasion, but it also produces a lot of anxiety.

I just learned a new term, “eustress.” When we talk about stress, we generally mean “distress,” stress with its negative aspects. “Eustress” is the desirable kind of stress that comes from stimulating circumstances or challenges.

The distinction between dis-stress and eu-stress refers not to the effect on the person, but to the nature of the stress.

Although eustress is positive, it can be just as taxing at regular stress. My sister, for example, has two huge sources of eustress right now: getting married and getting her pilot picked up by ABC. Both of these are wonderful, and she’s thrilled – but she’s also very stressed. Or rather, eustressed.

This is familiar to everyone, of course. Happy occasions like getting a big promotion, the Christmas holidays, buying a new house, having a baby, or going rock-climbing can be very stressful.

I think it’s helpful to know this distinction. I’ll bet that reminding myself that I’m “eustressed” will help me remember to keep a grateful, appreciative frame of mind when I’m feeling stressed about a positive event.

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I can’t believe that I’ve never mentioned Lifehack before, but apparently I never have. It’s a site I love to visit when I’m between tasks and can’t seem to get myself motivated to start the next thing. It’s always interesting and helpful, and just dipping into its enthusiastic, we-can-tackle-it atmosphere gives me a boost.

In my research about happiness, I frequently come across discussions of how people’s happiness is affected by their ideas and assumptions about themselves and how the world works.

We’re not merely neutral computers absorbing information; we process and shape information in order to make sense of it. Research shows that unhappy people experience and react to circumstances differently from happy people.

For example, maybe you believe that you’re somehow always responsible for everything bad that happens. Maybe you believe that people are dishonest and are trying to cheat you. Maybe you believe that the worst possible consequence is the one most likely to happen. Different sets of assumptions make folks much more prone to anger, sorrow, and guilt—or not.

But, you may be asking, do habits of thinking really make much practical difference in a person’s life? After all, the actual “reality” of a person’s life is the same, no matter what’s going on in his or her head.

Over the weekend, the Big Man and I rented a good movie, The Upside of Anger, with Joan Allen and Kevin Costner. The movie presents an astonishingly persuasive example of the power of habits of mind. There’s a dramatic, surprise twist at the end (I do love a surprise twist) which turns SOLELY on the consequences of the main character’s way of thinking.

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For those who haven’t discovered it, Steve Pavlina has the most popular personal development blog out there. Lots of great material in the archives, or you can check out the “best of” list in the left-hand column.

“Being conscious of having done a wicked action leaves stings of remorse behind it, which, like an ulcer in the flesh, makes the mind smart with perpetual wounds; for reason, which chases away all other pains, creates repentance, shames the soul with confusion, and punishes it with torment.” –Plutarch

Several times a week, I walk past the Sunshine Flowers deli at the corner of 62nd and Lexington.

Every time I go by, I smile and get a bit of a boost to keep my happiness resolutions when I see the handwritten admonition on the side of the flower case to “Be nice.”

One of my Twelve Commandments (see left column) is “Be polite and be fair,” and it’s important to “Be nice,” too.

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I enjoy checking out the Ririan Project blog. It covers many of the subjects that interest me, from a more GTD, business angle. Lots of great info — especially tip lists, if you love tip lists, as I do. But what is a “Ririan” project? you may ask. Ririan is the name of the blogger.

It’s SO EXCITING: my sister, a TV writer in LA, was in New York City for a few days because her PILOT was just picked up by ABC. This is huge! With her writing partner, she’s the executive producer of an upcoming show called Women’s Murder Club, based on a series of novels by James Patterson.

Not that many years ago, when my sister and I were home in Kansas City for Christmas, she went to a party with her high-school friends. The next morning, when I got up, she was already awake (a sign that something unusual was afoot) and talking to my parents. She’d been up most of the night, thinking; a friend had said that she was moving to L.A. to start writing for TV, and did my sister want to come, too?

That was Christmas Eve morning. By February 3, my sister had not only decided to move, she had already packed up, left New York City, and was settled in LA and trying to kickstart a writing career.

And now…to get a show on the air!

One reason I find her success exciting is that it reminds me that it’s quite possible to change your life dramatically. Of course, she wasn’t married, didn’t have kids, didn’t own her apartment, didn’t even own much stuff, so that made it easier to change. But still, it was an extraordinary shift, made very quickly. And it worked out.

I think about what she did whenever I’m feeling stuck. I remind myself that I could make a big change, too, and I try to think about what my options are. Usually, I end up deciding that I don’t really want to change – but that, in itself, is a positive outcome.

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That very same sister is getting married to a fantastic guy on May 26. Like she doesn’t have enough to worry about. I’m anxious myself, and all I have to do is walk down the aisle with a bouquet, wrangle two flower girls, and give a toast.

Being involved in the wedding make me reflect a bit on the whole wedding process, and I went back to my bookshelf to re-read my friend Kamy Wicoff’s hilarious and thought-provoking book, I Do But I Don’t. The book is an interesting mix – partly a memoir of her own engagement and wedding, partly journalistic reporting on weddings, partly social criticism. The thing I liked about her book was that it wasn’t an indictment of the kind of wedding with a white dress, engagement ring, bridesmaids, etc. Kamy was very honest both about why she was attracted to model of wedding (which is what she had, and also what I had), and also why she questioned it. Fascinating.

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Looking back on this post, it’s a little flack-y — my sister’s TV show, my friend’s book. Sorry. I may be a flack, but it’s sincere.