Writer Jean Stafford scoffed, “Happy people don’t need to have fun,” but in fact, studies show that the absence of feeling bad isn’t enough to make you feel good; you must strive to find sources of feeling good. Research shows that regularly having fun is a key factor in having a happy life; people who have fun are twenty times more likely to feel happy.

Recently, I noticed a pattern among activities that people find fun: Go on a mission. There’s something about having a playful purpose, of trying to achieve something, that makes an activity more fun.

For example, a friend told that she loved visiting flea markets and antique stores to look for old globes – not fancy ones, cheap ones. She has a rule that she’ll never pay more than $20. She’s the kind of person who loves poking around in those kinds of shops in any case, but having a mission makes it more fun, less aimless.

For that matter, having a collection of any sort is a very popular way to have a mission. My younger daughter is thrilled every time she finds a piece of sea glass, and looking for sea glass makes the beach more fun for her. My mother enjoys a perpetual hunt for truly outstanding Santa Claus tree ornaments.

It’s also possible to collect experiences, like my friend who wants to attend a game in every Major League Baseball stadium. You might want to run in as many marathons as possible, or try every flavor at your favorite ice cream store. I’ve noticed that I enjoy a walk more when I have some sort of mission–mailing a letter, buying a cup of coffee, doing a quick errand. I often walk in Central Park, and by making it my mission to see Bethesda Fountain (one of my favorite sights in all of New York City), the whole walk seems more purposeful.

In fact, much of the fun of a physical collection is the experience of searching and acquiring — not just the ownership of the collection itself. That’s why it’s not much fun to be given or to buy a collection.

Taking photos is a common way to incorporate a mission into traveling. Not only does this help keep memories vivid, it also makes you more attuned to your environment while traveling. (Although for some people, taking photos can become a barrier to experience; they get so focused on getting the photos that they don’t enjoy the reality.) For example, during one visit to New Haven, I had a lot more fun wandering around once I set myself the mission of taking tourist photos of my own romance.

Some people have a mission to take photos during everyday life: taking a photo of people’s bare feet whenever they get the chance, taking a photo of every red barn they see. Artist Nicholas Nixon did a series called The Brown Sisters, a series of black-and-white photos of his wife and her three sisters taken every year from 1975-2006. It’s absolutely riveting.

Why does the resolution to “Go on a mission” add to happiness? The First Splendid Truth holds that to be happier, you have to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.

The more I’ve thought about happiness, the more surprised I’ve been at the importance of the “atmosphere of growth.” I think this is a huge engine of happiness, and when you have a mission, you create an atmosphere of growth whenever you pursue that mission.

Have you found a way to have a mission? What is it – and does it boost your happiness?

P.S. I got a big kick from choosing this image. Get it?

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in — no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

A few months ago, I gave a talk at the TEDxNewHaven on “Five Half-Truths About Happiness.”

To give you a preview, the half-truths are…

Hell is other people.

Happiness is all in your head.

A messy kitchen is too insignificant to matter to my happiness.

Happiness should make you feel happy.

One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. 

The truths are true, but they’re only half true, and in this talk, I try to shine a spotlight on both halves of these truths. Do two half-truths make a whole truth? It’s like that old joke, “Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane.”

Even though I don’t like to cook, and I’m no foodie, I nevertheless enjoy the food writing of M.F.K. Fisher. Several of her classic books are collected in The Art of Eating, which includes the essay “From A to Z: The Perfect Dinner,” from An Alphabet for Gourmets.

In it, Fisher outlines three combinations of people that can reach “gastronomical perfection”—but note, for clarity (and humorous effect), I’ve put them in the form of a numbered list, which is not her style.

Fisher writes that the perfect dinner can be attained with…

1. “one person dining alone, usually upon a couch or a hill side;

2. two persons, of no matter what sex or age, dining in a good restaurant;

3. six person of no matter what sex or age, dining in a good home…a good combination would be one married couple, for warm composure; one less firmly established, to add a note of interrogation to the talk; and two strangers of either sex, upon whom the better acquainted could sharpen their questioning wits.”

I love the fact that M.F.K. Fisher sings the praises of eating alone on a couch. Am I the only one who loves that kind of meal? I like eating alone on a hill side, too, but that’s a bit harder to pull off.

What’s your favorite combination for “gastronomical perfection”?

Each week, I post a video about some Pigeon of Discontent raised by a reader. Because, as much as we try to find the Bluebird of Happiness, we’re also plagued by those small but pesky Pigeons of Discontent.

This week’s Pigeon of Discontent, suggested by a reader, is: “How should I organize my notes?”

 

But, as I reveal in the video, I don’t have a good solution for organizing notes. I have the most basic of systems. (Though I should have noted that in addition to my catch-all “Notes” document, I do have enormous, dedicated “notes” documents for each of my book subject–happiness, Churchill, JFK, etc.)  I would love to hear from readers who have a system that’s more refined!

If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…

In which I acknowledge that a key to happiness, for me, is taking notes.

Be Gretchen. Make strange lists, for fun.

7 tips I use to spark my creativity.

So, how about you? Do you love to take notes? Handwritten or on the computer? If you’ve found a good system, please share.

You can post your own Pigeon of Discontent at any time; also, from time to time, I’ll make a special call for suggestions.

You can check out the archives of videos here.

Over the holiday weekend, I managed to do a lot of reading–which made me very happy.

Among other things, I read Past Imperfect, a novel by Julian Fellowes (a man of many accomplishments, such as winning an Academy Award for best original screenplay for the brilliant movie Gosford Park).

The novel’s narrator made an observation that has stuck with me.

“Years later, a friend would describe her world as being peopled entirely by radiator and drains. If so, then Damian was King Radiator. He warmed the company he was in.”

More and more, it seems to me that energy is an enormously helpful clue as to whether a person,  activity,  or place is a happiness-booster, or not. I find it’s useful to ask: “Does this person make me feel energized?” or “Does this activity, though intimidating and frustrating, make me feel more energetic in the long run?”

Perhaps counter-intuitively, in my experience, some people who are quite low-energy nevertheless act as radiators–because it’s not their personal verve that matters, but their level of engagement and quality of their ideas. And some people who are very high-energy and gung-ho end up being drains, because they somehow make things harder instead of easier, or put a damper on other people’s observations and ideas. (And by “other people’s observations and ideas,” I mean my observations and ideas. I admit!)

I love dividing the world into two categories. Leopards and alchemists. Abstainers and moderators. Maximizers and satisficers.

How about you? Do you think the distinction between “radiators” and “drains” is a useful way to think about things?